Find someone just as lazy as you and spend the rest of your life with them. Grandpa on a skateboard towed by grandma
Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes so does their loyalty
The man’s guide to love and lasting relationships list: find a woman who, most of all it is very important that these five women never meet
Katie, you know I have a crush on you, will you go to prom with me? Circle your answer: yes, definitely yes, no
When you’ve named every restaurant in a 40 mile radius and she still doesn’t know what she wants to eat ripped hand arm
When you are missing him but you have to be strong muscular girl
Hold your wife’s hand in the mall, if you let go she’ll start shopping – it looks romantic but it’s actually economic mug quote
It’s ok to have sex with a guy on the first date, just make sure you say things like “oh my God, I never do this” so he knows you’re a liar too