Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news. Karen is leaving you for another man. Me: and the good news? Doctor: I am picking her up at 7
When you ask your girl what she wants to eat and she actually decides. Elmo nuclear explosion
Relationship goals: find a woman who treats you like the prince you are. Carrying a guy through water
When she says we need some space ancient art
Single mom of 2, huh? Yes. Wanna make it single mother of 3? Imagine the gains. Tinder conversation
You can’t get rejected if you don’t tell the person you like them. Protip lifehack
Star Wars the girl you like, her father, brother, grandfather, ex, you Jar-Jar Binks
I found someone else I’m leaving you, what does he have that I don’t have? electric toothbrush
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