The new options on facebook look like life cycle of every relationship I’ve ever had: like, love, happy, wow, sad, angry
Girl: I’m a socialist, Me: (trying to impress her) I don’t understand economics either
I sleep peaceful at night knowing that I’m single and ain’t nobody cheating on me tonight dog
When you pay for her dinner and take her to the club and she reacts to “single ladies make some noise”
If you faceswap Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift they look like a cute lesbian couple
Single mothers love dressing their kids like the men who left them swag
When you save her from a fire but she says “I have a boyfriend” back you go
Falling star wish I want girlfriend star returns