That ankward moment when deer have a better love life than you
Friend before date: act like you don’t care. Her: my dad died when I was 15. Me: who gives a shit
When you get cute text while on the bus love in the air
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Man sues wife over make up Algeria
Siri how do I get the cute guy next to me to ask me out you should try Android
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My girlfriend is like the square root of minus 100. A solid 10 but also imaginary
Would you wanna go out or something? Hell no Mike, you’re ugly. At least I have a good heart, I don’t need a transplant
When your girl asks you to go deeper but you’re all out of poems