Me: I’m depressed, therapist: try mountain climbing, me: how does that help? Therapist: you might die
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How to win at Tekken: pick Eddie Gordo, spam every button, nobody will want to fight you again, perfect victory
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How to play the Sims: spend 8 hours making a beautiful family, play as intended for 3 seconds, motherlode, build dream house, cry over fact you’ll never live there, murder entire family
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How to make heart-shaped eggs
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The friend who gives unsolicited relationship advice even though she’s been single for 7 years starter pack
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Phones face down stacked on the table first person to check their phone pays the bill. Awesome idea
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Send nudes, not hate Gandhi quote
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Raise your kid to be PC gamer and they will never have money for drugs
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