911 dog emergency: my owner has been gone for 0.2 seconds, have you tried eating the couch?
Guy: I have 1 million dollars in bitcoins. Girl: wow, wanna buy us some drinks? Guy: oh no, I don’t have any real money
Girl: our relationship is over. Me: our relationship is what? Over.
Do you ever get a message and you just stare at it for a while and take a deep breath and think “what the actual fuck am I supposed to reply to that”?
When she stays online 4 hours after saying good night Cristiano Ronaldo
Are you an Angel? I have a boyfriend written and directed by George Lucas
Her: haha you’re so short, him: haha you’re so fat, her: shocked suprised Pikachu
I wish I was 80s David Bowie, aw wish I was 2018 David Bowie