I push objects off shelves while looking my human in the eyes cat
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They start out as just a potamus hippopotamus
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If a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or like this?
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Cat guilty I knocked down the xmas tree prison jail arrest
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Don’t blame the holidays you were fat in August
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I spent 30 minutes talking to them until the barman told me they were umbrellas women in burka
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When you’re too drunk but she’s in the mood small elephant
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Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, “I know it’s hard. You’re going to be okay. Here is chocolate and 6 million dollars.”
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