Will you give me a bjob? Smile = yes, backflip = no
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Hard to swallow pills: casual conversation does not mean she likes you
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Guys literally only want one thing and it’s disgusting: hugging I’ll never ever let you go
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70 years in ice result vs 20 years with wife comparison
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Women during divorce be like; my kids, our money communism
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Who is it Michael? Pams mom The Office scene
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Date: I love dogs. Me: *trying to think of something to impress her* my dad is a dog
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When she jokes about you vs when you joke about her Beyonce Jay-Z
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