The only reason I’m fat is because every time I sleep with your mom she makes me a sandwich fat kid
If you can’t handle me at my worst then leave because I don’t have a best I’m always awful Pakalu Papito
White couple with black kid, dog saying: you need to start asking questions Dave
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Have you ever looked at someone while they’re doing something small like driving, laughing or eating and just smile because they don’t know you farted yet
Thanks ladies for putting up with men who will never grow up and good luck to guys who are still looking for such lady
Reasons to date me: 1. no one will try to steal me from you 2. sometimes I’m funny Zach Galifianakis
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Me looking at 0 notifications I’m receiving cause I’ve isolated myself and ruined all my realtionships with my friends, family and partners
When you both gained a few pounds but the love is strong