Larry made fun of me when I quit smoking but then he had a stroke and the laughing stopped
Couples be like kissing and I’m all like oh watermelon you understand me
Relationship status: too anxious to ever make a move
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on facebook
When BAE said he’s going out friday at 9 PM so you schedule an argument at 8:30 PM
If two people love each other nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat
Girl I like vs girls that like me. Who said I liked you? twitter fail
I have a boyfriend, oh wait no. That’s a cat, I have a cat