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Doodlebug orphaned kangaroo hugging a teddy bear

Man baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling him over, the cops laugh at him and shoot him 26 times on the chest

Legend says when you can’t sleep at night it’s because you’re awake in someone else’s dream so if everyone could stop dreaming about me that’d be great

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Giraffe’s coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of it’s throat ever think about that no you only think about yourself

Her diary his diary motorcycle won’t start can’t figure out why

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This post started as a John Green novel and ended up as a Stephen King

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When words come out of your mind you can’t put it back in as toothpaste

I’m that friend that’s left behind I’ll always be that friend

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