Lady on the plane started to freak out realised I was Pakistani, I laughed so hard my granades nearly fell outa my pocket. Bullshit I keep my granades in my turban
Library scene. Girl: I study psychology and know what a man is thinking, men: I study law and know how to make someone feel guilty
Keanu Reeves inspiring quote: see these people behind me? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so live today
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Cat got his head stuck in a vase, freaked out, broke the vase, was left with a collar
Legend about thirsty crow jar with water rocks
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Sit down let me tell you a story once upon a time I ate your hamster this morning cat
LAN party with the guy duct taped to the ceiling playing Counter-Strike
Man trapped in Budweiser warehouse resorts to drinking his own urine to stay alive