Therapist: what’s wrong? He’s insane, he shows his muscles to avoid problems. You know what else is insane? *starts unbuttoning shirt*
Are you mad or something? No. Sector is clear, I just think it’s funny how… Not clear, not clear! Star Wars messenger conversation
It’s the police, what do you want, we just wanna talk, how many of you are there, four, then talk to each other
Trying to make plans in the group chat is like multi level rubik’s cube
Me: what’s your name sweetheart? Her: get off loser. Me: sounds exotic, I’m Paul
Throwback to when the car insurance lady asked my mom for front rear and side views but she didn’t get the memo fail
Boy: how old are you? Girl: 15. Boy: Wow you look young for 18 years old. Girl: but I said I was fifteen. Boy: shhh…
Wow words can’t even describe how beautiful you are. Thank you. Numbers can though, 4 out of 10