Girl: I’m a socialist, Me: (trying to impress her) I don’t understand economics either
Watt’s my name? I’m Knott. Not Watt, Knott. silly conversation
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What should we call this brick object that provides ventilation for the house? Jim: a jimney, Chim: I have a better idea chimney
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Guy: wouldn’t it be funny if we had sex haha? Girl: what? Sorry a friend took my phone. We’re talking in person
When you screenshot a convo and send it back to the same person suicidal thoughts Mexico president
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news. Karen is leaving you for another man. Me: and the good news? Doctor: I am picking her up at 7
E-mailing teachers be like: Me: polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar. Teacher: sure – sent from my iPhone
You won’t have to text back if you don’t open the message protip lifehack