Pre Tinder days when you didn’t say a word to your crush at school but you’d spit pure fire at night
Girlfriend: honey are you free tonight? I can’t I’m hitting the gym. Aww, can’t wait to feel your muscles and abs. Playing Pokemon GO
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Germany axe rampage on a train: Here come all the racists. Islam isn’t a race. What do you call someone who discriminates against people based on their religion? A muslim. BBC Twitter
Ross, I’ve got a science question, if the homo sapiens were in fact “homo”, is that why they’re extinct? Joey, homo sapiens are people. Hey, I’m not judging Friends
One month after playing Pokemon GO. Doctor: do you exercise? I Pokemon GO. Doctor *writes on a notepad* fit AF
Ladies and gentlemen, women! Did it ever once occur to you that I might have some insight? Alright, tell me. I don’t know anything about battles! Game of Thrones
Wanna go and see football game? Grandpa: who is playing? Austria Hungary. Against whom? Grandpa what?
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If you had super power what would it be? The ability to communicate with a female. Civil War interview Anthony Mackie
Excuse me could you spare a moment for Darth Vader our dark lord? *Sigh* dark lord you say? Harry Potter Kylo Ren
Fortune cookie a friend has good news for you. So what’s the news? I’m not your friend