This mum does not trust her son: take a picture with a fork in your hair to prove you’re home. Could have taken that yesterday
Interviewer: so why do you want this job? Well I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death
Who are you? Someone changed all my contact names. What did they change my name to? Batman. Don’t change it back, I’m Batman
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It’s windy today, no it’s Thursday, so am I let’s have a beer. Old deaf men
Excuse me could you spare a moment for Darth Vader our dark lord? *Sigh* dark lord you say? Harry Potter Kylo Ren
Fortune cookie a friend has good news for you. So what’s the news? I’m not your friend
Bro, what bro?, tell whole world that we’re bros, *whispers* we’re bros, why’d you whisper bro?, because you’re my whole world bro. Finn Poe Star Wars