Girl: our relationship is over. Me: our relationship is what? Over.
Do you ever get a message and you just stare at it for a while and take a deep breath and think “what the actual fuck am I supposed to reply to that”?
When she stays online 4 hours after saying good night Cristiano Ronaldo
Can you hangout? No, it’s my dogs birthday. Lol what? Dog celebrating picture
Friend before date: act like you don’t care. Her: my dad died when I was 15. Me: who gives a shit
I don’t speak Nintendo, I don’t speak McDonald Japanese English
Girl: my parents aren’t home. Guy: don’t worry, they’ll come back
Joe: then I said “Hillary now you have something else in common, you blew it”. Obama: you know she kills people, right?
Grandpa: so who did you vote for? Grandma: what day is it? Grandpa: who are you? Grandma: me too. Conversation fail
Is it the weekend yet? Asked Pooh. It’s only Wednesday said Piglet. Fck said Pooh