Koalas spend 99% percent of their life eating and sleeping and 1% percent searching for a mate. If they don’t find one they go back to sleep
Me on Monday I want to marry my bed Adventure Time
When your friend is on the other team: if anybody’s gonna take that guy down it’s gonna be me Family Guy
When your girlfriend is mad at you vs when you are mad at her Powerpuff Girls
Professor: what inspired you to write this essay? Me: the due date
When you get to your first day of school and you can’t find your class or your locker or friends lost dog at school
Myth: introvert plus alcohol equals extrovert. Reality: introvert plus alcohol exuals drunk introvert
After you get a free sample and you pretend you’re actually going to buy it