When your friend is on the other team: if anybody’s gonna take that guy down it’s gonna be me Family Guy
When your girlfriend is mad at you vs when you are mad at her Powerpuff Girls
Professor: what inspired you to write this essay? Me: the due date
When you get to your first day of school and you can’t find your class or your locker or friends lost dog at school
Myth: introvert plus alcohol equals extrovert. Reality: introvert plus alcohol exuals drunk introvert
After you get a free sample and you pretend you’re actually going to buy it
Me: why am I still single? Brain: you’re weird. Body: and you’re fat. Face: plus you’re pretty ugly. Food: I’m here for you
2 PM gonna go to bed early tonight, 10:30 PM here we go time to hit the hay, 2:30 AM ahh so male seahorses give birth