My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello. When I see humans is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away
Johnny created the group “barbecue”. BBQ tomorrow at my place, any vegans here? Yeah, me! Glad you asked. Sara has been removed from the group
First aid selfie
Doc: you have a spinal injury here. Man: wtf, put that back in my body
He is so cute, would he be thinking about me? Will Europe survive and rise again? Is the western civilizations doom?
The reason I like staying up late so much is because between 1 am and 5 am the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me so silent and calm love it
Oh hi Becky who refused to kiss me during spin the bottle in 6th grade and now wants to play Farmville looks like tables have turned
14 year olds captioning selfies with “I took a pill in Ibiza”, no Elizabeth you took a paracetamol in Spain because you had heartstroke behave
Vaccines cause adults protester sign
It’s so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man’s name. No I don’t want to hold Grant but can he look over my investment portfolio for me