Me: please, I have a wife and kids. Robber: I’m not gonna shoot you. Me: please why not
When you’re having a good time and remember that life is limited every second passing is one closer to death
When the chicken kebabs you cooked were on point but he still chose to go to bed with his third wife
Mum told me: stop being so depressed all the time. WOW, I’m cured A++ parenting, no more tears, never have to be sad again
Gonna prank dad when he gets home black guy dad’s not coming home
When you’re mid-argument with your girl and suddenly realize she’s right
When you’re in the fire but it’s lfr so you really don’t give a shit
When your black friend calls you my nigga for the first time Spiderman
Feline support center he still hasn’t woken up have you tried stepping on his face
After the exam when everyone is discussing the answers and you wrote nothing similar