Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks, I was burning a giant pile of his toys
3 stages of growing: up young and dumb, motivated and hopeful, screw everyone and everything Spongebob
Re-doing high fives because it was a bad one
When you hit snooze 80 times and now you’ve got 3 minutes to leave the house sad man
How to tell if she’s into you: into you, not into you. Women comparison
Leaving work on a Friday vs going to work on a Monday comparison Harley TIR ahead
When you accidentally open your front camera pancake silly face
There are two kinds of people: those who use bookmarks and monsters
Three urinals golden rule: correct only in emergency, never next to each other when other urinal is free
My nephew is turning 4 today but since money is tight we just not gonna tell him