When you’re looking for the remote and touch something weird between the cushions cat big eyes
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When the school shooter finds you under the table seal
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The nigga got arrested in his dream handcuffed
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When you fint out your wife has the right to vote on facebook polls. Sad arab muslim
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Me: I promise I won’t get political, me after a pint of Guiness: IRA Irish terrorist
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My girl scored a freekick against me on FIFA I ended the game and the relationship no way she learnt that on her own
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On aging: up to 22 years – woo! 23 years – wait… 24 years – oh God. 25 years – please make it stop
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When you open the facebook app and see photos from camera roll thinking you just posted your nudes heart attack
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