Choose a degree in something you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life because that field probably isn’t hiring
University is easy it’s like riding a bike and the bikes on fire and the grounds on fire and everythings on fire because you’re in hell
95% percent of the time when I’m smiling at my phone it’s because of something I’ve said, not something someone else sent me. I’m hilarious
Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them to replace the oxygen they waste
Randy: I am the liquor
We’ve got Pepsi instead of Coke, is that OK? I don’t know, is Monopoly money OK?
Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself Keanu Reeves
Her: I really love Coldplay and Taylor Swift. Him *trying to think of something to impress her*: I’m basic and have no music taste too
Family killed by ninjas need money for karate lessons. Kid beggar creative sign
Be happy with the little you have, there are some people with nothing who still manage to smile