Dessert stomach: secondary organ reserved solely for when the primary stomach is full but you still really want to get that Chocolate Volcano Brownie because it just looks so good
Creative learning motivators: Twix, Bounty bars after some pages
If the flying spaghetti monster didn’t create life why is DNA shaped like pasta? Checkmate evolution and creationism
When you both gained a few pounds but the love is strong
Koalas spend 99% percent of their life eating and sleeping and 1% percent searching for a mate. If they don’t find one they go back to sleep
Me: why am I still single? Brain: you’re weird. Body: and you’re fat. Face: plus you’re pretty ugly. Food: I’m here for you
Saying do I smell popcorn right after you fart so everybody takes a deep breath trolling
When your salad keeps making jokes laughing women