Introducing girlfriend to my family. Me: this is my girlfriend. Janine: hi. Wife: what the fuck?
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Interviewer: any experience operating heavy machinery? Guy: does your mom count? Interviewer: lmao you’re hired
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Alarm clocks dishonor on you on your cow on your whole family
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When you tell grandma you’re hungry. Huge plate of food
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Wanna hang out later? Sorry I don’t talk to guys who are under 6 feet. Please mom, I miss you
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Mom: am I a bad mother Katie. Kid: my name is Emily
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Why my cousin diamond is named like that? Because aunty loves diamonds. What about me? Enough questions Age of Empires Collector’s Edition
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I love you mommy, I have a boyfriend son kid
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