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Wow words can’t even describe how beautiful you are. Thank you. Numbers can though, 4 out of 10

Doctor I’ve got a problem every morning at 8 sharp I poop. How is this a problem? I wake up at 9

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When people add you in a group chat and text for hours Jay-Z Beyonce

What are you doing? Filling the caravan with petrol. Why? So it explodes when the car hits it. Why would it? Because I’ve filled it with petrol. Clarkson Hammond Top Gear

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Cannibalism would solve both world hunger and overpopulation vs a normal conversation

Are you http? Why because without you I’m just :// sad flirting

Why did you choose our company? Because you are recruiting, what can you bring to the company? A new employee dog doge

This mum does not trust her son: take a picture with a fork in your hair to prove you’re home. Could have taken that yesterday

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