When you buy from a small business you’re not helping a CEO buy a 3rd holiday home, you’re helping little girl, little boy and dads put food on the table. Shop local
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Consider suicide captcha fail
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Saying do I smell popcorn right after you fart so everybody takes a deep breath trolling
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Cucumber ideal for Valentine’s groceries
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When your teacher asks where your homework is and you start looking in your bag knowing full well you didn’t do it
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Three urinals golden rule: correct only in emergency, never next to each other when other urinal is free
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Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don’t teach man to fish and feed yourself. He’s a grown man and fishing’s not that hard. Ron Swanson
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How to kill an introvert: starve him to death by putting a stranger in his kitchen
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