That one follower who likes everything you post. Empty audience man with balloons
If Bohemian Rhapsody starts playing and the person you’re with does not singing along leave them alone
When you fint out your wife has the right to vote on facebook polls. Sad arab muslim
When you open the facebook app and see photos from camera roll thinking you just posted your nudes heart attack
Pople in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. You could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel. Ryan Reynolds twitter quote
My phone be like new messages minus one icon
1 like and I’ll get drunk by myself. OK
Tesco on facebook: to the person who keeps placing pork in the halal meat section: it’s not funny whole shelf has to get cleared. Show some respect