Silence is golden unless you have a puppy. Then, silence is suspicious. Very, very, suspicious
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My friends: impressive beards, me: baby no beard
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I won Golden Globe, no you didn’t. Mother with a child
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One man died for all – Obi-Wan Kenobi instead of Jesus
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Firemen rescuing fat boy out of skate bowl
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When your dad come back after 18 years saying damn that line at Walmart ain’t no joke
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My sisters pregnant I can’t wait to find out if I’m gonna be an auntie or uncle
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Teach your kids climbing and they’ll never have enough money to buy drugs tons of equipment
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