I love you daddy, holy shit how can you see me? Soldier wearing camouflage
Spoke to a supermarket employee without crying. Facebook life achievement
There’s something wrong with this banana George Bush corn
When a black person is beating you in an argument stretching ready to press N key
Marlboro Nestle packaging swap mind blown mineral water cigarettes
He’s 104 years old, what’s your excuse? He had more time to train old running man
When you hear a noise downstairs but you don’t have to pay student loans if you’re murdered
Me: mom, my legs hurt. Mom: cause you’re always on that damn phone
How do people have self control when it comes to biscuits and just eat one or two, like if the packs infront of me I’ll just eat them all
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