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When you see a BMW indicate and you’re thinking should I call the cops?

Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he watches anime

Have you ever gotten so bored at work that you started actually doing your job

Two Martinis please. Dry? Nein, zwei.

Have you read the bible? Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t, what’s it to you? Can you read my son? Well, that depends. Can you go f yourself?

When you put something in the cart when you’re shopping with your mom and you hope she doesn’t notice dog

Math equation ayy lmao

LeBron James could be spark plug could be alternator. I can prolly fix it for $200 dollars

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