I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my latina mother-in-law, who lives at blue house. She gets off to work at 6
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Thank you mom for carrying me in your womb for 9 months and also for still booking my dentist appointments
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Accidentally said happy mothers day to my mum in person instead of a para on facebook
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When your family praises you for fixing the wifi but all you did was reset the router
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When your mom says “what a handsome little boy you are”, and you are like: “thanks mom you da best mom ever” ugly
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When you start telling your parents a funny story but then you remember you were doing something illegal
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Wish I was as brave as my kid who ate zero bites of her dinner and asked my wife for a snack 6 minutes after the table was clear
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Date: I love mexican food. Me: *trying to think of something to impress her*my father is a crunch wrap supreme
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