Roses are red, tacos are enjoyable, don’t blame a Mexican just because you’re unemployable
Going to work when I first started my job vs now Shia Labeouf
The natural finger position of others in the office vs my natural finger position gaming
Interviewer: why do you want this job? Me: I’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death
For the company picnic management decided that due to liability issues we could only have one beer per person. I was fired for ordering the huge giant cups
When it gets busy just as you’re about to leave work – peace bitches, I’m out
Me in a job interview. Talents: sleeping
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back, you got tested positive for Coke. Pepsi headquaters
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Choose a degree in something you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life because that field probably isn’t hiring
Hogwarts degree isn’t worth much these days Harry Potter as airport security worker policeman