Tape surgery doctor asks for a pencil
Professor: 1 out of every 5 of you will develop an anxiety disorder. Me looking at my row: I gotchu fam
The test came back you’re obese, yeah it runs in my family, no one runs in your family doctor trolling
Drinking alcohol for health reasons: when do you drink water? I’ve never been that sick grandma
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The cells in your body react to everything your mind says, negativity brings your immune system down
When all of your knuckles crack except one so you have to try and convince yourself to be a sensible human being and resist the urge to break your own finger
What happens when I run: lungs heart let us go you said ribs were to protect us
Autism spectrum people are over represented in research science, but that means autism causes vaccines
McDonalds fries Marlboro cigarettes same shit
Emergency defibrillator Pikachu Pokemon what kind of sick joke is this he’s dying
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