Larry made fun of me when I quit smoking but then he had a stroke and the laughing stopped
Wife and dog kidnapped by ninjas need money for kung-fu lessons. I really want that dog back. Homeless man creative text
This restue cat’s broken jaw got fixed by some good humans turning it into a gorgeous smile cute
When you wake up from an amazing dream and try to get back to sleep for the sequel
Just got banned from B&Q someone in orange apron came up and asked if I wanted decking lucky I got the first punch in
Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut up and everyone applauded me so i told them to shut up too
Dinner with grandpa tonight he made 12 burgers for all 6 grandkids I’m the only one who showed. Paw Paws grankids finally showed up, he’s happy now
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Man was murdered in his office suspects are Gerry, Julie, Jason, Nick and Sophie. Numbers 6, 4, 9, 10, 11 are written on the calendar with blood. Guess who is the killer? riddle
I found no wardrobe to Narnia at age 8, no letter came from Hogwarts when i was 11, I made it to 19 without being raped, Gandalf better be at my door when I’m 50
Fight between Batman and Superman – Batman still wins even if he loses