Wife and dog kidnapped by ninjas need money for kung-fu lessons. I really want that dog back. Homeless man creative text
Face masks, ski goggles, iPad prices. Thinking they’re smashing capitalism – priceless
“Kids these days have it too easy” said the generation that could buy a house on a wage from unskilled work at age 21
Interviewer: so why do you want this job? Well I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death
When you hear a noise downstairs but you don’t have to pay student loans if you’re murdered
What is better than hearing “I love you”? That krrr sound the ATM makes when withdrawing money
Pre drinks aren’t even pre drinks, they’re just the stage of drinks where you get absolutely smashed in order to save money when out
My nephew is turning 4 today but since money is tight we just not gonna tell him
We’ve got Pepsi instead of Coke, is that OK? I don’t know, is Monopoly money OK?
When you get your tax return and start spending your money on stupid shit dog bought a painting of himself