When your siblings asks what you got them for Christmas. My presence is a present Kanye West
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Don’t blame the holidays you were fat in August
Don’t get me anything for Christmas, you’re all I need. It’s a trap
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You won’t be single for Valentine’s day if you hang yourself the day before protip lifehack
Don’t say nein please, be mein this Valentein hitler Valentine’s card
Single bells, single all the way oh what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day