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My son was upset about his graze so I turned him into his hero adolf hitler sign on forehead
If life gives you lemons a simple surgery can give you melons sign
I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in life
The existentialist starter pack
Me thinking about life. Sad cat in a washing machine
When it gets busy just as you’re about to leave work – peace bitches, I’m out
My love is like a candle – if you forget me I will burn your house down
Kid reaching for the stars: I want to be Michael Jordan when I grow up, to achieve it I need to: 1. get bigger, 2. shave my head, 3. be black