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A book fell on my head I can only blame my shelf Sean Connery
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I asked my friend for a lighter buy your own lighter text
When the flight attendant gives you an extra bag of peanuts but you still have to blow up the plane anyways
Interviewer what are your skills? Me: puts jacket on his head
How I be in the bathroom when I’m at a party realizing how fcked up I actually am
Dad proving he hasn’t lost all his hair
iPhone names in 2014, 2017, 2018, 2019 Xmas X-factor XD X-Men
My dad and I are a great reminder that genetics aren’t an exact science short tall, cheating mothers play into the equation as well