A galapagos tortoise can live up to 200 years and not enjoy a minute of it
Kids can we play in the pool now? Dad: get a job and pay for your own pool
Mark Zuckerberg he remembered your b-day when no one else did facebook
When a black person is beating you in Scrabble: prepares to use N letter word
Tattoo artist: what you want? Girl: just combine all stereotypical white girl tattoos into one, say no more
When I tell my girl I’ll change for her: in 1999 Japan redesigned it’s flag only slightly
During child birth the pain is so intense that women are almost capable of feeling what a man feels when he hears “I love you as a friend”
If you start your work now you’ll have plenty of time and you won’t be stressing out at the last minute, me: nah, life begging