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I was your pilot man outside jet plane window trolling paratrooper

Hello from the other slide otter

This Boeing 747 is carrying a space shuttle but your bag is two pounds overweight

Texting BAE: what’s wrong? Nothing, goodnight. OK goodnight. See that’s your problem. Brad Pitt throwing phone

When you wake up and check your phone to see how much time you got left to sleep but it’s right before your alarm supposed to ring crying

Mad at my boyfriend and not speaking to him, so want something to eat? Me pig looking

Woman looking great or like shit. I’m either left or right there’s no in between

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