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Teacher what’s your favorite dinosaur? Me: the one with 500 teeth, teacher after googling it: listen here you little shit

My finger is wet, my phone: I’ve never met this man in my life, fingerprint scanner

Oil based plastics are destroying the environment why not hemp plastics biodegradable and non-toxic

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People are so judgmental I can tell just by looking at them

You are free to choose but you are not free from consequence of your choice. A universal paradox

The text pistols Sex Pistols fan texting

What an idiot, you burned the tortillas. Mother why have you forsaken me?

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Couples be like kissing and I’m all like oh watermelon you understand me

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