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When someone asks if I should really be drinking alcohol at 9 in the morning, I work nightshift

Monkeys men stopping everything they are doing to watch a helicopter thats flying by

Life’s boring overthink until you trigger a panic attack

Thief murderer help he’s attacking me what’s wrong she misgendered me

Image too long, click to expand...

Zuckerberg my dad told me you’re spying on us, he’s not your dad

Me: nice car, friend: yeah 400 horsepower, me: that’s like 7000 ducks, friend: what, me: what

Reddit I have a micropenis AMA, maybe there’s a girl with micro too, there technically is but that’s illegal

I wish we could donate body fat to those in need

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