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I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife getting pregnant but all it does is change the color of the baby Francis Beakstreet

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Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?

Lady on the plane started to freak out realised I was Pakistani, I laughed so hard my granades nearly fell outa my pocket. Bullshit I keep my granades in my turban

Do normal dogs see police dogs and think “aw shit there’s the police”?

Tupperware more like tupperwhere the fck is the lid

Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die, come have a beer

Fun facts about Germany: no fun in Germany, go back to work. Creavive mug cup

No matter how good she looks someone somewhere is tired of her shit

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