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When you’re in an exam and everybody is using a ruler and you don’t even know what the ruler is for

Don’t underestimate me, I can go from lady to bat shit crazy in 2 seconds tattoo quote

Japanese say you have three faces: first face you show to the world, second face you show to your close friends and family, third face you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are

Pick your perfect woman, you have $5 dollars: smart, good body, fat, retarded, great love

I am Wonder Woman – I wonder where I left my keys, I wonder where I put my purse, I wonder where my money went

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it it’s probably shit

What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?

Metal detector: none detected. James Hetfield at the airport

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