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When you wanna hang out with people but you’re perpetual self doubt makes you feel like you’re not really part of the group and they just tolerate you Kermit frog

Serial killer: I will tell you a joke, if you laugh you die, okay? So a man walks into a me laughing already fail

You’re depressed because you stay in your bedroom all day instead of traveling the world. Cool, now I’m depressed in Egypt

Me rereading my own post every time someone likes it

If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years then you are no longer just friends, you are gay

When you finally meet your internet friends

Please reply to this email by the 12th vs me reading the email on 20th

Me: stands up, my dog: you son of a bitch I’m in

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