Me: please, I have a wife and kids. Robber: I’m not gonna shoot you. Me: please why not
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Mum told me: stop being so depressed all the time. WOW, I’m cured A++ parenting, no more tears, never have to be sad again
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Gonna prank dad when he gets home black guy dad’s not coming home
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When you say you gonna take a shower and your siblings says no I’m gonna shower first running
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Meal with parents vs meal alone fail
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Why mother, why have you forsaken me? Falling kid
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like, it was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato
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My son is a soldier sticker. My son is alive, your son is dead
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