That one friend you have who is literally always high Will Smith Men in Black
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How I feel picking the next president – Lays flavours: orange juice & toothpaste, couch, onion and banana juice, haggis and watermelon, diet mountain dew, pepperoni dogfart
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Welcome to Hogwarts, a school which is just to all students. Wow Harry nice shoes 15 points to Gryffindor Dumbledore Harry Potter
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I’m going to kill you Superman, wait my mother’s name is Martha. Omg, so is mine. What? Did we just become best friends? Batman
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Girl went to prom in an ambulance, acted like she came to life after her date kissed her. I’m done with this generation
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There are two types of guys: it’s kind of cold, well here take my jacket, I love you. I’m cold too, well damn Jackie I can’t control the weather
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Parents: I want the truth, Me: *tells the truth*, Parents: no you’re lying, wrong answer. You actually were telling the truth. I do that quite a lot yet people are always suprised
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I wasn’t hurt that badly, doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that’s where the bloods supposed to be
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