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Guys don’t get jelaous because we don’t trust you it’s because we know exactly what the other guy is trying to do

When you ask your friend to put your phone on the charger Dodge

10 things your mom never told you it hurt you made her cry she would do it all again

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Adulthood is like the vet and we’re all dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going oh shit

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When you’re trying to enjoy Grand Canyon but they’re trying to fake Mars landing

For every cigarette you smoke God takes an hour away from your life and gives it to Keith Richards

Imagine getting a QR code tattoo so that if they find your body and scan it they would get Rickrolled

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

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