What are you doing? Texting the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is not replying so texting you. Achievement unlocked: savage
Rabbits jump and live 8 years, dogs run and live 15 years, turtles do nothing and live 150 years. Lesson learned
Studies show that if you are scared of spiders you will find one in your bedroom. I am scared of Tom Hardy
How fast can you guess these words? Books, random, fork, pants, pulse, six. Dirty mind word play
I’d like to thank my legs for supporting, me my arms for always being by my side, and my fingers I could always count on them
Only guys will understand peeing as a graph
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Dog is able to learn up to 250 words and gestures, count to five, do simple math – equivalent human age: 3. Cat is sick of your shit – equivalent human age: 42
Ellen asking kids what kind of exercises do you do? I like sleeping, high five
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