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Three stages of life: 1. birth, 2. what the fuck is this, 3. death
Are you not entertained? Man wearing Batman suit costume rainbow leggins cosplay
A man with dreams needs a woman with vision cute kids
When she finally agrees to send you an ankle pic but your batteries are on 3% percent solar powered recharging
When I offer to wash your back all you have to say is yes or no, not all this “who are you, and how did you get in here?” nonsense
Therapist: what’s wrong? He’s insane, he shows his muscles to avoid problems. You know what else is insane? *starts unbuttoning shirt*
Typical catholic, typical muslim, typical atheist – science vs religion
Pizza order special instructions: send your cutest delivery boy. Dog delivering pizza